Former England captain Dylan Hartley admits his omission from Eddie Jones’ World Cup squad is causing him to have.
The Northampton hooker was made from England squad to the tournament, having failed to defeat.
Hartley, who has 97 caps for England, had expected to bow from international rugby to get a top in Japan, and it is coming to terms with being denied the chance to do so.
“After the World Cup group was announced, it was like I’d died – friends getting in touch and seeing when I was OK,” Hartley said.
“Ultimately, how I looked at my whole arcade career and how I wanted it to pan out, and how it was moving was that this would have been the ultimate send-off, the dream finish to an international career.
“The simple fact is that you pick up an injury.
“For 3 years we have talked about winning the World Cup with Eddie, and I have led that group, been a part of that travel, to fall at the final hurdle… I do not know the sensation.
“I wake up most nights thinking about it. It doesn’t sit well with me personally, but I have come to terms with it. You need to crack on.”
Hartley believes England have an excellent probability of being the team that lifts the Webb Ellis Cup at Yokohama City on November 2, which his omission to deal with.
“I really think England (will win), they’ve got as good a chance to go and get it done,” he said.
“The strangest thing for me would be to believe if my leg was not [hurt ] at the moment I might be there together , winning a World Cup. It’s hard to swallow, actually.
“I hope they win and go. I’ll get on and become a wonder supporter – remember me guys?
“I’ll be hanging from the face of the open-top bus, at my 97th (look ) shirt.”
Since representing club side Northampton in a Gallagher Premiership clash with Worcester hartley has not featured at any given level of rugby.
The 33-year-old admits from trying to rush back to the World Cup, that he aggravated his knee injury.
“I tried an (initial) strategy along with my knee, a very aggressive strategy, because I had been given a few deadlines to meet, along with the aggressive approach did not get the job done,” said Hartley.
“I basically ended up in a worse place for trying to return too early. Ever since that happened, I knew I was not going to create the (World Cup) deadline.
“It was around the beginning of the camps, even when they first got together around the beginning of July. I tried return for that and essentially put myself at a bit of a hole physically and mentally.”
Hartley lately spent a fortnight at Philadelphia working with strength and conditioning pro Bill Knowles, whose clients include Andy Murray, also feels that therapy was advantageous.
“Everybody asks when you are coming back but I’ve learned you do not set a time period on it, because when you are 10 days out from it and you realize you’re nowhere near, you are able to play these games in your head and it’s tough,” Hartley additional.
“At the moment, I’m building my tolerance to have the ability to run daily and participate daily.”
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